


Home

by MilesLibertatis



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst, Mildly Canon Divergent, Nightmares, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), SHIELD exists because of reasons, in a positive way, lots of feelings, soft thorki cause this fandom is in dire need of soft thorki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilesLibertatis/pseuds/MilesLibertatis
Summary: Set a few years after Ragnarok, in a future where Age of Ultron and Infinity War never happened.When they had sought refuge on Midgard a few years ago S.H.I.E.L.D. had helped them find lodgings and jobs for most of the Asgardians and offered Thor a small apartment in New York, near the New Avengers Facility in case they had to call on his help where he now lives with Loki. It took them a while but they have mostly gotten used to a normal, Midgardian life, enjoying peace for the first time in a long time. Although homesickness still lingers, they have found their well earned happiness.Fluff, mild angst and Midgard shenanigans





	1. Content

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Thorki fandom! My first contribution and I'm psyched! I have very strong feelings about them and I had to channel them in some way. I've always loved domesticity so it's no surprise that's exactly what I wrote. There were things I missed in other fics that I really wanted to explore so I hope you'll join me on this journey! I have a few ideas for future chapters so please keep an eye out for those.
> 
> Enjoy!

Loki flipped the page of the book he was reading, filled with magic spells he was trying to comprehend. It was one of the few books he had managed to salvage before Asgard had disappeared from the Realms. Of course as a master sorcerer he had a vast knowledge, but there was no harm in expanding it. One would never know when that one new spell would come in handy. As he was quietly muttering the ancient words of a new trick, tasting them on his tongue and feeling the magic rippling under his skin the hairs on the back of his neck rose as he felt a presence nearing. The slight crackle of electricity in the air, impossible for a mere mortal to sense, combined with the heavy footsteps informed him that it was Thor who was approaching. The corner of his lip curled up in a slight smile. A visit from the god of thunder was rarely unwelcome, even though he often pretended otherwise.

“Loki,” Thor’s deep voice called as he appeared in the door opening. He was clad in Midgardian clothes; torn, baggy jeans, an old and faded shirt that displayed his support for a rock band he probably didn’t even know and a flannel in a soft blueish hue. In the years they had settled on Midgard the god had discovered a love for thrift shops. Loki wasn’t quite sure what about those awful secondhand shops was so appealing to Thor. With the money they, or rather, Thor had earned by saving the world a few times he could easily buy new, proper clothes that weren’t torn with use by others, but instead he opted for the thrift shops, claiming it was “good for the environment” and they looked “cooler” than those in actual shops. But despite Loki’s distaste for using other people’s trash as garments he did have to admit they did look good on him.

He looked up from his study. “What is it?”

“We are running low on supplies,” Thor said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder to the kitchen. “I wish to go to the supermarket to replenish them. Do you need anything?”

Loki pursed his lips as he thought but could not think of anything he was in need of, so he shook his head. “No, I have everything I need,” he replied. 

Thor nodded. Dropping his hand from the door post, he closed the distance between them with a few strides. He placed his hand on the back Loki’s neck, fingers tangling in his hair, before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead. Loki closed his eyes and smiled. The god of thunder loved to show affection and when he did he completely enveloped him with his warmth and his big hands and his muscled arms. Loki relished in it. He snaked his arm around Thor’s waist and rested his head against his stomach, melting at the feeling of those nails lightly scratching against his scalp and untangling the rare knots in his hair.

Thor’s gaze fell on the book that lay open on the table. “Studying magic again?” He asked as his eyes ran over the ancient runes, able to read them but not fully understanding their meaning. 

Loki nodded and turned to look at the book as well. “It would be a shame to let all this knowledge go to waste. Plus I definitely wouldn’t mind some more tricks in my box.” 

Thor couldn’t help but grin at the mischievous look in those green eyes. “I think S.H.I.E.L.D. would.”

“I don’t care for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“You would if they changed their mind and decided to have you live in a cell after all.”

Loki winced. He did not want to think about that. When they had sought refugee on Midgard S.H.I.E.L.D. had helped them find lodgings and jobs for most of the Asgardians and offered Thor a small apartment in New York, near the New Avengers Facility in case they had to call on his help. It was a miracle they had let Loki live with him as well instead of in a prison cell, as he had half expected. After all he hadn’t quite made this world a better place a few years ago, and he hadn’t really tried to prove himself better either. Apparently Thor’s words had somehow been enough to convince the Midgardians to let them live together, although Loki suspected a certain threat with a hammer might have played a part in it as well.

“Have you noticed?” Loki asked suddenly, looking up at the god in his arms. “We have not called each other brother for a long time now.”

Thor’s lips parted as he dwelled on the unexpected words. Loki was right. When had been the last time? They may have been brothers in the past, but over the decades something had shifted. The revelation of Loki’s true heritage and the different ways their paths had taken them had changed them. Their love for each other had changed with them, evolved into something deeper. The relationship they held now was something deeper than brothers. It was like their souls had touched and found out what they truly meant to each other. Now they were brothers no more, but soulmates.

“It has been a long time indeed,” Thor replied, his thumb lovingly caressing Loki’s pale cheek. “Do you mind?”

“Do you?”

“I do not regret where destiny has taken us.”

Loki smiled. Of course he didn’t. He could’ve done wrong so many more things, hurt him in so many more ways and Thor would still love him from afar. He still didn’t know whether it was foolish or sweet. He slightly turned his head and kissed the palm of Thor’s hand.

“Me neither.”


	2. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback! <3 It was lovely to read your thoughts and encouragements. Feel free to hit me up on tumblr at we-were-gods-loving-and-mourning! I'm always up to talk Thorki.
> 
> Enjoy!

His sister grinned as she held him down on the edge of the balcony, choking him, covered in his blood from his eye. He clawed at her hands, trying to break free, but the skins of the divine are tough, something that had saved him many times but now something he couldn’t battle. Black splotches formed in front of eyes and blurred his vision, his lungs burned with the lack of air as his ears were ringing.

“What were you the god of again?” She asked snidely, voice as sharp as a razor.

He tried to get out an answer, maybe something taunting, but all he managed was a pathetic choke. His vision finally turned black and suddenly it was cold.

With a gasp Thor shot up. His heart was racing a mile a minute and he was trembling all over his sweat soaked body. The sudden silence was deafening. He reached up and touched his throat, feeling his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly. He could still feel the ghost of her hands tingling around his neck and the pure _joy_ on her face seemed burnt on his retinae. Gulping down air like he had really been choked, he tried to control his breathing and shake himself out of it. Eventually the cruel image faded and his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness that surrounded him. It took him a moment to realise he was in his apartment on Midgard. He was far away from the ashes of Asgard. As crude as the realisation was, it helped him ground himself. Reminded him he was safe. He exhaled slowly. He was safe.

Once he felt he had some grip on reality again he looked around him. Next to him Loki was sleeping peacefully, snoring softly and blissfully unaware of the turmoil his life partner was in. He feared his thrashing had woken him up but the god showed no signs of having noticed anything. Thor reached out and pushed some lost hairs out of his face. His fingertips lingered on his cheek. He could wake him up. Pour his heart out, let his tears flow freely and have his beloved comfort him in his arms.

He sighed and shook his head. No, he did not want to wake him up for something as petty as a nightmare. He pulled back his hand and pushed away the blankets.

 

It was a nice night. The air was cool against his skin, damp from sweat and tears, and the breeze soothed the throbbing scar that had once been an eye. He took a deep breath. The moon was a thin sickle high up in the sky and there were no clouds to obscure the starlight. Though very polluted by the streetlights, Thor could make out the belt of Orion. Although Midgard’s star constellations were no longer foreign to him, they still didn’t feel like his own. He hadn’t grown up under these. Oh, how he longed to go back to Asgard, to walk the halls of the palace, gaze up at the stars at that balcony, like he did now, and to see all that was familiar to him. But Asgard was no more. He could never return. The balcony door opened behind him.

“Can’t sleep?” Came Loki’s soft voice.

Thor glanced at him with his good eye before sighing and looking down at the streets. “Nightmare.” He felt Loki coming to stand next to him.

“Hela?”

Thor nodded, staring at the city but not really seeing anything. Cars rushed by on the streets down below. People laughed as they walked out of a bar, feeling the buzz of a late night drink. A dog barked in the distance. “I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he said. He felt a bit guilty about that. Loki had been sleeping soundly when he left. Had he been too loud after all?

“I felt your presence leaving,” Loki replied. “It felt restless. I guess I just wanted to know why.”

_I was worried._

He didn’t say it but the words hung in the air. Thor smiled. “Well, thank you for checking up on me.” He turned his head to look at him. “You can go back to sleep if you want.”

Loki shrugged and joined him in leaning on the balcony railing, their upper arms touching. “It’s a nice night,” he said.

“It is.”

It was quiet between them for a while. It was chilly but it didn’t bother him. Loki was warm next to him. Although his body temperature had always been lower because of his heritage it was enough to keep him warm. Despite, or maybe because all their fights in their past, he was truly lucky to have him. The city down below was bright and lively, seeming a different world than up here on their balcony, in their small bubble of quiet solitude. The noise of the traffic that rushed by on the streets sounded off. Wrong. It made him feel like they didn’t belong here. He had gotten used to cars and billboards and cell phones but he still felt out of place. At some point he found himself looking up at the stars again, homesickness coiling in his stomach.

“I miss home,” he said softly.

Loki looked at him. He didn’t say anything, just calmly waited for Thor to continue.

“I wish we could go back. Rebuild everything, start a new life.” He sighed and looked down at his hands, tangling and untangling his fingers, before turning his gaze to the god next to him. His eyes were the ones of a broken man. “I just want to walk through the palace halls one more time. We didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye.” Then, quietly, “we’re so far away, even the stars aren’t the same here.”

It hurt to see the mighty god of thunder defeated like that. He was supposed to be proud and confident. Grinning and brimming with enthusiasm for everything he did. Loki would do anything to see that blithe god again. This sad smile suited him ill.

“I miss it too,” he admitted. “I almost regret the times I wished for its destruction.”

Thor chuckled softly but it lacked conviction. “I regret those times as well.”

Loki’s lips curved into a melancholic smile. He looked at the stars again and tried to remember the ones from home. Thiassi’s Eyes, Durathror, Vedrfolnir, Hellewagen. He calculated where each and every constellation would be. When he was confident it would be somewhat reminiscent of home, he took a deep breath and hoped for the best. “Watch,” he said and he focused, raised his arms and circled his hands around each other, like he was pulling on and twisting the sky.

Thor frowned, confused at the command, but when he looked up his breath caught in his throat. Loki had cast an illusion of the sky back home. Although not everything was exactly as it had been on Asgard, it was perfect. “Loki,” he breathed, staring up, completely mesmerized. He let his eyes run over the vast starry heaven. It was brighter than the one in New York, undisturbed by the many lights. He recognised every single constellation as he had spent many centuries studying them as he stood on that balcony, slept in the fields and navigated through the realms. He knew them as well as the back of his hand and the scratches on Mj _ö_ lnir. He felt his chest burst with everything at once. Exhilaration, melancholy, intense sadness, gratefulness. He swallowed the lump in his throat. His gaze dropped and his eyes met Loki’s.

The trickster god shrugged and smiled faintly. An illusion this big was a bit straining but seeing all those emotions on Thor’s face, seeing how he instantly relaxed, that smile return, those tears glistening in his eyes made it all worth it. He figured he owed him this much after all grief he had caused him in the past. “It’s a huge illusion so I can’t hold it up for long, but it’s something I guess.”

Thor shook his head. “No, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

They shared a look, their eyes conveying what their lips could not, before looking up and staring at their stars. Here, huddled together, they finally felt a bit more like they were home.


	3. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I never intended for this chapter to happen but sometimes your characters have their own agendas ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I was planning on fluff and had most of the chapter written out but then this came to me and I had to put this first for continuity’s sake. So sorry for the extra angst but the next chapter will be lighter!
> 
> Thanks so much to Elola, Dan and Hic for helping me out with this chapter. I struggled a lot with it and if it weren't for them this never would've come out the way it did (or at all). I'm still not entirely satisfied with the result but I have to let it rest haha. 
> 
> As always you can hit me up on tumblr at we-were-gods-loving-and-mourning. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Enjoy!

Something was wrong. Seated in his chair – his throne, as he secretly called it – Loki watched Thor warily. The god of thunder was on the couch on the other side of the room, bent over a book, his head supported by his hand and an odd tension in his brow. It wasn’t the first time Loki had seen him like this. At first it had been occasionally, rare enough that he had shrugged it off, deeming Thor too interested in his study to go to bed. But now he was suspecting something else was going on. Ever since they had stood on that balcony watching the memory of the Asgardian stars Thor had avoided going to bed more and more often, up to the point he was skipping entire nights. Loki would go to sleep in the evening and come back in the morning to find Thor in the exact same position he had left him in. He was positive he sometimes hadn’t even flipped the page in his book. Something was going on and he was determined to find out what it was.

“It’s nearing time to go to bed,” he broke the silence in an attempt to get Thor’s attention, making it sound like he mentioned it offhandedly.

“You go ahead. I’m not tired,” Thor replied, his thumb idly running over the page as he struggled to understand the runes. As expected he was too focused on the book to pay attention to himself. Loki narrowed his eyes. The bags under his eyes were heavy and black, his usual sun kissed skin was pale and his fingers were slightly trembling. Thor was clearly in desperate need of sleep.

“You may have been able to fool me once or twice in the past but I can see clearly through you now,” he tried again.

Thor finally looked up from his book. “What are you trying to say?” His tone was cautious, defensive. He was hiding something.

Loki was slowly growing exasperated. Why did Thor have to be so bullheaded? Reaching out to him like this wasn’t easy. Why couldn’t he just work with him in this rare moment of emotional support? “I’m trying to say,” Loki mimicked Thor’s words almost mockingly, “that you can’t lie to me.”

The god frowned, not understanding why Loki was suddenly so on edge. “Why would I lie to you?”

Loki shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Keeping secrets is a family tradition, isn’t it?” Stop talking. Stop talking damn it. He cursed himself and his stupid words and his inability to handle matters in a way without fighting but he was worried about him and the fact that Thor was denying anything was wrong at all annoyed him to no end. Loki regretted his words but it was not in his nature to take them back and apologise.

Anger flared up in Thor’s eye. His grip on the book tightened and his knuckles turned white. “If it is, you had no issues partaking in that tradition.” Thor accused him, his voice as cold as ice.

Without a beat Loki shot back just as icily, “I learned from the best. After all my whole life was based on secrets.” Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that. The words just slipped out.

Thor was getting agitated as well and groaned in exasperation. “What do you want me to say, Loki? We’ve been over this so many times I’ve lost count. Yes, father was wrong and I do not condone his actions but all parties involved have apologised. Why do you keep bringing this up?”

_Evade_. “I don’t know. Why do you keep hiding things?”

Thor’s book slammed closed. “I am _not_ hiding things, damn it!”

_More lies_. “Then why do you look like absolute shit? You’re looking damned worse than after fighting that evil incarnate sister of ours!”

“Because she’s the only fucking thing I see when I close my eyes!”

Oh.

Thunder rumbled in the distance. Without realizing it, they had both risen from their seats and taken defensive stances, ready to fight. Their old instincts had kicked in and adrenaline rushed through their veins. The air crackled. Breathing heavily, they shared a look and they understood. Slowly the tension dissipated and Thor, drained from releasing pent up frustration, dropped himself back on the couch. Loki sighed and looked away. He got what he wanted, but at what cost? He clenched his fists, took a deep breath and let the tension flow out of him. Then he crossed the distance and sank down next to Thor, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. They sat there in silence, exhausted from their fight. Loki glanced at him before averting his eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Thor rubbed his forehead, worn with worry. “Me too.”

Loki hesitated. “Your dreams… Do you want to talk about them?”

The exhausted god took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, but then started talking. “Each night I watch Asgard burn. I watch everything go up in flames and I’m devoured by guilt and regrets. Each time I wonder if I could have done anything differently. If I could have saved it.” He looked up at his husband. “It’s killing me, Loki. The ashes suffocate me. Hela’s laughs are so loud they’re deafening. These nightmares… They’re so terrifying they make me afraid to go to sleep.”

Loki watched him with an aching heart. It was as he had feared. He racked his mind to think if there was anything he could do or say to help him. Maybe there was some spell to help him sleep. He could dig through the few books he had taken with him, but deep down he already knew the answer. In the years they had lived here he had read and studied them so much he knew the content of each and every book by heart. It had helped him distract from the – dare he say? - traumatic events. Thor had been able to work with the Avengers for a short while but the world had been peaceful and there had been no need for his destructive powers. Without the Avengers to distract him he was left alone with his thoughts and trauma.

Not knowing what to say he did the next thing he knew would calm him down. He reached out and pulled Thor against his chest, one arm around his broad shoulders, his other hand on the back of his neck and his fingers in his short hair. Thor tensed for a fraction of a second, not having expected this sudden display of affection, but then exhaled shakily and buried his face in Loki’s neck. His arms circled his lithe waist and held him tightly. Loki could feel Thor’s erratic heartbeat against his chest.

“You’re safe,” he murmured. “I’m here.”

Thor shuddered. “You’re here,” he repeated quietly like he still couldn’t believe it. His hold on Loki tightened even more as if to confirm his appearance was real and not another illusion, despite having been together for so long since he had last disappeared. Loki winced at his ribs being crushed but endured it. He turned his head and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Thor’s head. Thor sniffled and lifted his head, resting his forehead against Loki’s. His cheeks were damp with freshly fallen tears and Loki’s heart ached at the sight. He cupped his cheek and wiped a drop away with his thumb, his touch a gentle caress. Then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his remaining eye.

“I’m here.”


End file.
